http://www.skinnytaste.com/. The recipes look so good and they are all lower calorie & lower fat. The following recipe is the first one I've tried so I can't vouch for everything, but I can this one. . . it was delicious.
Monday, May 30, 2011
I let her pick what she wanted to eat this morning. She chose Cinnabon cinnamon rolls, which I wasn't thrilled about, but I did give her the choice. When we got home, I decided to head upstairs because I couldn't handle smelling them or looking at them. As I was headed up stairs I heard Larissa say, "I don't really like this Dad. I think Mom has ruined us. We're used to eating all this healthy stuff now." A little while later my Dad poked his head in my room and commented on all the cinnamon rolls he found in the sink. I gave him a confused look and asked what he meant? He said, "Your children didn't eat their cinnamon rolls. They didn't like them." (Let me tell you, I have fed my children these cinnamon rolls before and they LOVED them.) I smiled and turned back around, beaming.
This evening we went to Red Robin for Lexi's birthday dinner. Larissa ordered the spaghetti. She ate about half of it and turned to Jason and asked, "Are these noodles made from white flower? This spaghetti isn't good." The girls didn't eat much of their dinner and all agreed that I've ruined them. Mwahaaaaa!! That's all I can say.
I'm taking these two successes because we had pizza on Saturday night and I didn't hear a thing about it. So I may not win everytime, but they showed me today that they are listening and learning and that makes Mommy very happy.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
On an even more positive note, I ran 7 miles again today. I move on to 8 miles next Saturday. I am not sure what I am training for but I thought I would just keep pushing right along. The schedule I am following has me at 8 miles for the next 4 weekends. At least I get to stay there for a little while before moving on to the BIG numbers.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Last week was an extremely tough week emotionally, physically and spiritually. It was a trifecta. Without making any excuses, I caved. I folded under all the pressure. I have said before that this journey has had many layers and as I work through each layer another one is exposed. This last week I learned that part of my over eating was to punish myself. It was to make my physical body feel as bad and as ugly as my internal self. Last week I was feeling undeserving and worthless and quite frankly, pitiful. With all those emotions running rampant, I caved. One night I layed in bed asking myself why I would do this after such a long and successful journey. That's when I had an "ah ha" moment. I was trying to make myself feel, physically, as bad as I felt emotionally. I'm not beating myself up though. I'm actually glad I had that experience. It showed me something new that I can be aware of. It showed me another truth of what took me to over 300 lbs. I know how to defend myself against that monster now.
Because of this I decided not to weigh on Saturday. I WILL weigh this Saturday and no matter what it says I will be proud of this week. I've picked myself back up and am back in the fight. That's what it's all about, right? Standing back up and continuing to fight for what you want and what you know is best for yourself. No giving up. . . just learning and moving forward. There's nothing easy about a battle, but the reward is worth the fight.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
I hit another milestone today. I am less than 200 lbs. . . I weighed in at 199.5 lbs! That is a 2 lb weight loss for the week. I am thrilled with that, first, because I am under 200 now, but also because of the week I had. It wasn't tragic or epic or anything out of the ordinary really. I was really tired this week & dealt with many emotions. After looking back over the week, I realized I was fighting against depression. We received the bill from the State of Oregon this week. I had to face several emotions and deal with them rather than turn to food. After 10 months, it is still a battle of wills. Thank God, I was able to recover and fight through it. This is not a mountain I can't climb!
Last week when Jason & I were on my long run for the week, I told him that I finally found the word that sums this whole journey up. . . Courage. This week I have had several confirmations of this. I read a quote the other day, that I LOVE!! It says, "Courage is not the absence of fear, but the mastery of it," - Victor Hugo. The World English Dictionary says Courage is the power or quality of dealing with or facing danger, fear, pain, etc or to take one's courage in both hands - to nerve oneself to perform an action. I LOVE that. I was in Lexi & Kaia's school office taking care of a few things, when the secretary looked at me, congratulated me on my weight loss success, and said, "Wow that takes so much courage.” I looked at her with my eyes twinkling and said, "Yes. Yes it does.” As I turned to leave, I was beaming. That was a confirmation of what I had learned that week. This is not an easy journey. I am facing many demons, but I have found the courage to press on and win the battles so I will win the war. I implore you to find the courage to face your fears and start living life, as you never have before.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!! That's my reply to the new circuits I started this morning. As a result of my 101 lb weight loss, the Jillian Michael's website suggested I up my fitness level to level 3. They are crazy & insane & my body hurts. That's right, I'm whining. . . on the positive side, it will be fun to conquer some of these new exercises.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
|My Mom and Dad|
They watched me start putting on weight very quickly my sophomore year of high school. Unsure of what was going on with me they scrambled to help me. When all of their attempts failed. . . they prayed. When I was somewhere around 22 years old I began a weight loss program and did pretty well. They were so proud of me. . . I am sure they breathed a sigh of relief. After about a year I started putting all that weight back on, plus some. . . they prayed. When I was somewhere around 25 years old I started another weight loss program that worked for a little while. Once again, they breathed a sigh of relief and once again, when life's stuff hit the fan, I turned back to food and put all the weight back on. . . they prayed. From that point forward, it was a downward spiral. I can only imagine the pain they felt sitting back and watching me slowly kill myself with food. . . but they prayed.
At 35, I began learning what grace really is. . . the Holy Spirit began to move and I was inspired to begin this journey. Their prayers, love, and unending support are part of my success. Thank you, Dad and Mom, for loving me and for praying without ceasing.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
I want to mention that I ran 6.1 miles this morning. It felt so good and I'm thrilled that I'm progressing. I'm off and running towards a half marathon.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
When I started this whole process I said I was going to learn how to operate in the real world while dieting. I wanted to learn balance. With that in mind, I believe I did the best I could. I have to give myself these allowances. It's just hard when you're staring such a huge goal in the face.