In recovery you do not get any days off; no holidays. It does not matter if there is a death in the family, a birth in the family, or the sun comes up or the sun goes down. You get to treat yourself for your eating disorder every day. Normal eaters will say, “You know, I’m just going to have a fasting day because I’m going to really eat on Thanksgiving.” People with food addiction do not have that privilege. They cannot do that. There are no special days to eat. Food has to take its proper place. What we have to look at is, what is food replacing? What is in here (pointing at self) that we have to have the food?It is more common than uncommon when you find a person with an eating disorder to go back two or 3 generations and you are going to absolutely find alcoholism, almost without fail. Sometimes it will skip a generation; a generation will decide they are not going to drink so they start using the food.
It is not what we are eating, but what is eating us.She spoke of people with any sort of addiction being people that have to have control. That hit me between the eyes. I have been self-analyzing and have realized what is behind some destructive behaviors. If all these other areas feel so out of control and I cannot turn to food I try desperately to gain control in another area; stomping all over whomever I need to in order to gain control.
Tough lesson, painful. . . healing!!