While walking out this long, arduous task of weight loss, I have learned so many things. Learning to see myself through other's eyes has been a foundational piece. It sounds scary and it could be detrimental if you listen to the wrong people. I am talking about the people in your inner circle. The ones that stand by you, believe in you, and love you. We surround ourselves with people we trust, enjoy, and respect. We listen to them on many things in our lives and even ask their advice on critical things, so when they tell us what they see in us why do we disregard it?
I never allowed myself to believe the people in my life. Every time something positive was said my inner voice would cancel it out. I found myself saying things like, "If they only, really, knew me they wouldn't say that. They should see the real me." For some reason I believed if I highlighted my faults and failures then they would see who I really was, I was not worth their time or effort. The funny thing about that is they did see the real me. I am the one that did not see the real me. I believed so many lies I could not see the truth. I also believed if I bought into what they said it made me arrogant. I believed feeling good about myself, loving myself, and allowing myself to see my attributes meant I was arrogant. I did not understand confidence.
Somewhere in the journey, it changed. I decided to lean on my friends’ and family's opinions of me. Again, not just any one's opinions, but people I really trusted to tell me the truth. Even if I did not truly believe what they said, I spoke it to myself as if it were truth. I began making decisions based on those thoughts. Ya know what it started working. Little by little I began believing what they were saying until it became my own internal belief. In the beginning, I had to lean on them until I could stand on my own.
The most awesome thing about this entire journey is the transformation that has and is happening in my mind. After going through this past several months having all of this put into the fire and tested, I believe I came out swinging because they are no longer just my friend's and family's thoughts, but my own. I could not stay in the place of self-hatred or worthlessness because I no longer believed it to be true. I came out of the flames fighting for myself because now I own these thoughts. WOW! I feel like this is one of the biggest Ah Ha moments of my life.
This all goes back to identity in Christ as well. Believing what He says about me because He does not tell a lie. He created me and knows my in most being. He knows all the ugly stuff and still says I am fearfully and wonderfully made. He enjoys my company and my friendship. I am worth enough for Him to send His son to be the ultimate sacrifice for me. I am His favorite. LOL!
If you struggle in this area try leaning on the positive things others see in you for a while. If you do not have people in your life that will tell you the good, then go to the Bible. It is comforting to hear your creator tell you what He thinks of you. When the negative starts surfacing in your thoughts replace it with the positive things you hear. Try it for a while and see what happens. I dare you!