I cannot believe I have not posted anything since April!! How time flies when you are having fun, right!?!? The truth is I was in hiding. Strapping on “shame and condemnation” backpacks again. Ugh!
Without going into detail, because it involves others, my life came crashing down around me last April. It sounds dramatic, I know, but it was. My little world was on fire. This fire is quite literally the hottest I have ever been in and it made me confront everything. My value, my identity, my beliefs; the very foundations I have built my life on. It has taken me months of clinging to the one absolute in my life, my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Through many tears and desperate cries, I am pulling through. I began to emotionally surface about two months ago, and as I did, I realized I made a mess of all the hard work I had put into my body over the past few years. I had abandoned all hope of reaching my goal weight/size. I had abandoned all disciplines I had put into place. Before I knew it, I was up two full pant sizes. That may not sound like much to you, but for me that can mean 40+ lbs. I do not actually know how much weight I have put on because I will not weigh myself. I still believe it became detrimental to my journey. My identity became a number on a scale, not who I am in Christ. The scale had permission to tell me how I would feel about myself for the next week. Not okay! I believe I will receive complete deliverance in this area of my life, but until then I cannot become complacent. This is where my tenacity is valuable. LOL! :) So, I am back at it. My friend suggested I try a personal trainer at REVS House here in Bend. WOW! You have to try it. The price is RIGHT and so is the training! (Click on the logo to the right and it will take you to the Facebook Page.) I will not be posting weight loss results, but I will be posting honest, real, hopefully inspiring words that will keep you pushing toward your goal. No matter what it is? You are worth the effort and hey, so am I! ;)
Following is an excerpt from a blog I read. It just reminded me that we can fall down, a lot, but if we get back up and keep fighting, we will see victory. Often, we need to ignore our negative internal voice. God is our strength and our refuge. I am leaning on Him and He is providing everything I need, at just the right time.
"If you were to add up all of the failures I’ve had, it would number close to 30,000 over the years. 30,000 failed attempts and four successes (NJ Star Ledger, Yahoo, Dave Ramsey and CBS). 4 for 30,000. Yet, I’m doing it. I’m succeeding. I’m making it happen.
My story is still unwritten. I have not made it on to the NY Times Bestseller list yet. I have not sold millions of books yet. I am not a household name yet. But I refuse to quit.
I realized something in July, when my book became a bestseller. This is not just about me. This is about every American Dreamer out there who is pursuing their American Dream. I want you to know success is right around the bend. It’s hiding behind a mountain of mistakes and failures. You just can’t see it yet. I want you to ignore those who tell you it can’t be done. I don’t want you to listen to anyone who tells you to stop dreaming. Ignore them when they tell you you’re just not good enough or that you’re just not smart enough. Unfortunately, very often, most dream killers are people who you love the most. Don’t let them stop you or tear you down. You are much more than you ever imagined.
You only find out how amazing you are when your back is up against the wall and your dream feels like it’s collapsing under the weight of all of your failures and mistakes. When you are about ready to quit, that is when life blinks. And what a blink. It is always some unintended great thing that happens. Something completely out of the blue that you never expected and never imagined. When you persist, life bends to your will. It goes from adversary to ally."